my father’s daughter

Currently I am on my way back from my step-sister’s wedding in Charleston, SC. I had a fantastic Time with all of me family who was able to make it, but the key was I got to spend time with my brothers.

Both of my brothers are 23 and 12 years older than me. They have been adults long before I came into my own. The last time I got to spend any length of time with them I was 18,hardly and adult by anyone’s standards. Now as a 24 year old woman, I can appreciate the time I have with them, and understand their relationship with our father better.

Now of course my relationship with my father is way more complicated than a blog post warrants, but to give you the cliff notes, after my parents split I resented a lot of the choices he made during and after their marriage. We were not on speaking terms for roughly two years, but when I got an internship at the college he used to be the dean of, I reached out. I thought that if I think that my Dad hasn’t changed in the last 15 years I am hardly giving him a chance because I certainly am not the same person I was 15 years ago.

I was jealous for a long time of my brothers because they had an easy going friendly relationship with my dad. I never understood until I fully felt like an adult. There is no more pressure no more expectation, just wanting the best for one another. My father went through a similar experience with his father under much harsher conditions, but I feel that if you can go through your tough times, find a level of forgiveness for each other then you can find the relationship that you are both comfortable with.

In the age of divorce I know many of my friends do have estranged relationships with their parents and I do encourage them to find a level of connection that feels right for you because at the end of the day, they are still your parents and they are the only one’s you got.

my mother’s daughter

I love to fly, but as I was leaving today I got an odd feeling. I was nervous. Now I have flown many times before, but I noticed that since I haven’t flown in a few years I had lost my sea legs. I was also super panicked that I would loose my bag leaving the clothes I was to wear for my sisters wedding lost somewhere between Rochester and Charleston.

These odd feelings have led me to a bit of an epiphany. When I was younger I wasn’t afraid of anything, everything was exciting and new. However as I get older I tend to like the things that are stable and predictable in life, like being on the ground. My mom hates scary movies, but sometimes even CSI is a little tough for her to handle. I am becoming my mother. I know I am not the first person to come to this realization but those little indicators that you are becoming your parents is still shocking.

I couldn’t be more excited.

checked out

On this dreary but warm Monday, I can’t help but to dream of the warm sandy beaches of South Carolina that await me on Wednesday. My step-sister Leslye is getting married this weekend and I fly out Wednesday evening leaving everyone in Rochester to deal with the bipolar weather that is spring 2011.  The best part of this whole trip besides the warm weather, this will be the first time in 7 years that all of my brothers and sister will be in the same town,  all 6 of us.

That being said I have one more day of work and I already have completely mentally checked out. I am surprised I have the mental capacity to even complete this post.  I am sure I will have a menagerie of photos to share upon my return.  Until then stay warm Rochester.